Re-thinking Family Relationship

Eid supposedly a happy moment when family could gather and enjoy togetherness after being busy with life. But somehow, it could be anxious experience. I thought it was only me. After a year or so didn’t meet half of the big family members, I was being anxious. Sure, I’m pretty excited to meet some of them (because the aunt who usually gives nice recommendation for future career, or another aunt who can cook delicious pasta etc), but I can’t hide my anxiety.

I thought it was only me. Until I scroll down my twitter timeline, I found some tweets who mentioned that they are not comfortable to be in family gathering, choose to get out from house or locked themselves in the room. It’s totally their rights to do so. But, it hits me right to questioned the phenomena.

Why?

First, what can you consider as family relationship? Obviously it is because of the bloodline and you can’t choose your family because you are stick with them forever.

Second, no family is perfect. To be honest, Eid moment is the time when my mind wondering about how people can cry and apologise to each other and within a minutes they are start talking about each other. (Yes, I am cynical about this).

Third, somehow you are not really close to them because its compulsory not your own choice to hang out with them. So, it could be awkward because you are not really know them well (unless some cousins who followed each other on social media so I could know their activity). The awkward starts when some relatives start asking unnecessary question like: when you are getting married? why you are being so picky? how can you gain so much weight and being fat (oh I’m gonna discuss this on my next post)?

When I was kid, my mom told me to be polite and act nice to everyone. Its pretty easy for me when I was kid because I only know what is right or wrong based on my parents preferences. Now, I have my own values for what is right or wrong for me. And surely its hard to hid my uncomfortable in my face when I see something wrong. Of course, I still can be nice and smile politely. But, I become much much more cynical. I guess thats the reason why some people prefer to make distance from their family to avoid that kind of situation.

When my dad was in ICU and I was in Canberra, the people that I can ask for help is my two best friends. Even one of them just landed from Portugal and ran to the hospital afterwards. I could not bother to ask my mom’s siblings for help because somehow I feel uncomfortable with them (I am sorry, but it is true).

Maybe this is happened because there are shifting of closeness between family and friends toward our generation. Previously people tend to spend more time with family but now people tend to spend time with friends. So, I even feel closer to my friends rather than with the family. Actually its quite funny that I also saw my mom more close to her friends rather than her siblings anyway.

Well, true that, eventho blood is thicker than water but sometimes there are other things that influence how human relationship between each other. It does not mean that family is less important. But people are free to choose with whom they spend time or put priority.

Cheers!